Ever feel like you’re forcing your way through a practice session, struggling with a tricky exercise, or overthinking a performance to the point of stress? Whew…I’m not the only one.
I’ve thought many times that there has to be a better way to get around (or through) those situations when they arise. Turns out, there is!
Today we explore the Law of Nonresistance, which both proposes and answers the question…
What if the key to better music isn’t pushing harder, but learning to let go?
This mental model suggests that the more we resist challenges, stress, or discomfort, the harder they become. It originates from spiritual teachings like those in The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn (huge thanks to my friend Amanda Richards for the recent reading recommendation) and Taoist principles emphasizing flow and ease. Instead of battling obstacles head-on, the Law of Nonresistance encourages us to flow with them. The key is to embrace challenges instead of resisting them.
What Does Nonresistance Look Like in Music?
This beast can take so many forms and I’m sure you have zero trouble identifying how it’s already reared up in your own musical life. A few examples that have popped up in chats with bandmates in the past include:
Practicing Under Pressure
Have you ever tried to force your way (at full tempo) through a difficult rudimental sticking or solo phrase, only to tense up and make even more mistakes? That tension and the repetition of those mistakes––essentially programming yourself to continue playing that way––completely defeat the purpose of practice.
Nonresistance would suggest easing back, slowing down, and accepting the challenge rather than fighting it. This is what I spend 90% of my time preaching to my private students.
Songwriting Flow
There’s something to be said for making yourself sit down to write. Doing the work even when you don’t feel like it. I’m doing that these days myself, as I force myself to ink a certain number of words each day on a new book project. Okay, I rarely hit my word count goal…but I do sit down and shoot for it…but I digress…
But sometimes getting out of forced-creativity mode can magically get you into it. Some of the most iconic songs were written when artists stopped trying so hard. Paul McCartney famously and literally dreamed up the melody for The Beatles’ song Yesterday. It came to him while sleeping, when he wasn’t forcing the creative process at all.
Performance Nerves
You’e about to walk on stage and you feel those all-too-familiar nerves. Your palms are sweaty and your heart is racing. Muscles are tense and shaking. You feel like you might be getting sick.
Instead of those symptoms of the resisting stage fright, nonresistance would encourage you to acknowledge the nerves and use them as energy—leaning into the moment rather than fighting against it. This is referred to as anxiety reappraisal, a conscious cognitive shift from a negative mindset to a positive one. We choose for ourselves that those jitters we feel are not indicative of any sort of anxiety; they are instead a reflection of the level of excitement we are feeling about the amazing experience ahead of us.
Applying the Law of Nonresistance
There is no instant cure-all and most of us will have to continually remind ourselves to take this approach when challenges arise. And we know they will.
But practice makes perfect better, so keep at it and you’ll gradually remind yourself faster and faster each time that this is a useful option in your stress-free-musician toolkit.
As food for thought, here are some things that you might try…
Release Physical Tension During Practice
Pay attention to physical tension while playing. Are your shoulders raised? Is your grip too tight? Consciously release that tension and see how it affects your playing.
Stop Overthinking Mistakes
If you hit a wrong note during a gig, resist the urge to spiral downward mentally. Instead, let it go. Focus on the next notes, not any that you’ve already played. Those are in the past now. Stay present, keep playing, and trust your training. Oh, and smile at your audience and bandmates!
Embrace Imperfection in Songwriting
Give yourself permission to write a “bad” song without judgment. Hell, go ahead and try to write three of them. Today. You don’t have to let anyone hear them. Just brain dump, letting ideas flow freely instead of forcing them into perfection. No expectations for them or yourself. Even just this once.
Use Breathwork Before Hitting the Stage (and While Up There)
Two quick tips for this:
- Before a gig, take three deep breaths and mentally remind yourself between each one: I am here to share music, not to chase perfection.
2. Read James Nestor’s book Breath (thanks to drum buddy Nick Costa for this recommendation). Musicians should understand how the mechanics of our breathing affect our lives. It also affects our performance, no matter what instrument we play.
The Law of Nonresistance reminds us that––as in most areas of life––music flows best when we stop gripping so tightly. The next time you feel blocked or tense, try easing back and allowing the music to happen. Let go of the need for perfection and control, and you just might find yourself playing your best yet.
What’s one way you can apply this in your musical life this week? Where might you be able to let go just a little bit more? Drop a comment below and share!
Happy music making–
If you find this valuable and would like to support my work:
⚠️ Forward this to a friend (or six) and encourage them to subscribe to my newsletter.
⚠️ Virtual tip jar >> Fuel my writing with an espresso (or six).
Comments
2 responses to “Stop Fighting the Music with the Law of Nonresistance”
Our old Middle School Band teacher had a similar motto…”Practice doesn’t make perfect. It makes permanent.” If you practice with bad technique long enough, you end up stuck with it. As an adult I still struggle to sing “My Favorite Things,” without trying to impose an English accent on it. It’s pretty awkward. I think I’ll make that the subject of my practice today.
On the subject of breathing… I recently had the opportunity to monitor my heartrate while experiencing pain (outside of my usual pain.) It was fast, and annoying, until I started doing my deep breathing exercises. My heartrate was back to resting within the third breath. It was a special experience being able to witness, and have witnesses to, the results of a dedicated practice. Being able to pull myself out of Fight or Flight mode, whether it’s caused by pain or panic, has been so freeing. I can’t wait to try it before a performance!
I definitely stress the “practice makes permanent” modification with students. So very true!
What an incredible experience you had with the breathing exercise. I’m hoping that continues to prove effective and valuable, musically and otherwise!